Monday, June 07, 2010

Her Rules
Try as I may, today had Monday written all over it: a tube of silver glitter glue squeezed out on the upholstered dining room chair, a big fat Wal Mart meltdown, my favorite mug broken and exploding grape juice concentrate. Nothing colossal, just lots of little moments that tried my patience. By the time I loaded the girls in the car at 7:30 to run an errand, I was out of sweetness.

As I backed out of the driveway, Olivia screamed. I lectured. No, a bug on your arm is NOT a scream-worthy emergency. Especially while I'm driving. That discussion prompted the following:

Olivia: "When I'm grown up, my husband and I are going to live by OUR rules."
Me: "What rules are those?"
Olivia: "Well, we will stack our books differently."
Obviously. The book stacking guidelines in her current home ARE very limiting.
"And we will eat messy food without a bib. And we will dig our hands into it and smear it everywhere." 
I feel the need to interject here. The five year old does not actually wear a bib. Unless she and her sister insist on wearing "fairy princess dancing dresses" in purest white to the dinner table that includes ketchup. Then, yes, I wrap a towel around her neck.
"And we will live in a MESSY house. And our garden will be out of control and we will plant a WATERMELON in our garden."
She is clearly irritated that my debut 4x8 foot teeny garden does not include a mass of vines and twenty-pound orbs. 
Me: "So are these the things that are wrong with your life now?"
Just curious, man.
Olivia: "Yes."

I guess that's not too bad. Those don't seem like the kinds of things that will make her resent me terribly. But then, I have 13 more years.


Michelle said...

Oh my goodness. . Livi is too funny! I wish my life's problems consisted of watermelons and book stacking guidelines . . . but I can see how those would seem like colossal problems to a five year old. ha! I hope you make her read this when she is older!

Fox Family said...

Oh Lisa she is priceless...I should let you read the rules my boys find out of control at our house!! Hope we can catch up when I am back in Kansas!!

mary beth said...

Precious! I am wondering about the book stacking rule though...I dont think I've heard about this one. Isn't is amazing what bugs them? Be strong mommie! Love you all They will be going off on overseas trips before you know it! Love you all1

Taryn said...

Laughing so hard, I have tears...

kellie j. said...

i can't wait to be around this kid in person! sooo opinionated! what's with the book stacking?! it really is bizarre to get a glimpse into that head and what gets under her skin. who would have known--books, gardens, bibs. funny kid. i CAN wait till maya starts voicing her opinions. we have been EMBARRASED lately in public b/c she "talks" SO loud now! people stare. a lot.

Christi said...

Sounds like nothin' but school of hard knox at the Huebner household! Poor can print that convo off so she'll have a copy to take to her therapist someday. ;)

Love that Liv. :)

This is... said...

sweet livi! man. i'm pr-ing for you...she is going to be a handful. kids are funny. how life seems so restricting.

This is... said...

sweet livi! life is so restricting with such rules. lol.